Divorce Coaches Academy

Curse Words in Coaching: I Think, I Believe, You Should, and I Understand

October 26, 2022 Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak Season 1 Episode 27
Divorce Coaches Academy
Curse Words in Coaching: I Think, I Believe, You Should, and I Understand
Show Notes

Catchy title, huh? This week we're not discussing the pros and cons of whether you and your clients use colorful language in session, we are talking about being mindful of the language we use and the impact it can have on the coaching experience for clients.

One of the main goals of coaching is to help your client self-discover their own goals and priorities so they can make decisions that are right for them. They likely have a lot of people around them telling them what to do. When we use phrases like "I think", "I believe", or "You should",  we become just another one of those voices.  It takes the spotlight off of them and puts it on you as the authority. Resist the urge to tell, and reframe those as powerful questions to help the client determine their own path.

In the interest of showing empathy, we often hear coaches say "I understand". And while that may seem validating, we run the risk of minimizing their unique feelings and experiences when we say that. Clients want to feel heard and understood, but they also want to feel special. We challenge you to find ways to validate them and say "I hear you" while respecting that no one else (even if you've had a similar experience) feels what they feel.

And finally, let's avoid making promises we may not be able to keep. While it's tempting to want to reassure clients with "It's going to be OK" or "You're going to be fine", we don't know that we can deliver that.  And your definition of "OK" may be very different from your client's. It is much more accurate to say that you'll be with them on every step of the way or you'll be their biggest supporter and encourager.

Next time you're in session, be mindful of these and other phrases that could negatively affect your client's ability to get the most value of your relationship.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
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LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com