Divorce Coaches Academy

Why We Hate Toxic Positivity (And Why We Think It's Harmful For Clients)

January 18, 2023 Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak Season 1 Episode 39
Divorce Coaches Academy
Why We Hate Toxic Positivity (And Why We Think It's Harmful For Clients)
Show Notes

It's gonna be OK. You're going to get through this just fine. You'll be so glad when it's over.  Focus on the good.

In today's episode, we unpack why we believe these kinds of statements aren't just ineffective from a coaching standpoint, but can actually harm clients.

 Toxic positivity is defined as the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This is not optimism, this is repression or denial. And when we, as coaches, reject or deny the negative feelings our clients are expressing, we block the ability for them to process the story of their divorce.

We can even take it so far as to say it can be a form of gaslighting when we deny a client's feelings. They're telling us something is hurtful or painful, and if we respond with a placating, positive statement like "you'll be fine" or "it's going to be OK", we have essentially gaslit them by denying their feelings.

Our job is to validate their feelings. To recognize their negative emotions and help them sort through them so that they can take appropriate action.  Our role is to be a coach, not a cheerleader.

Listen in for a great analogy from college football and some coaching alternatives to standard toxic positivity responses.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com